Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
