I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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