alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
