that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That accounts for only three of the penises
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
