Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
