Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
