I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
