So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
