"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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