Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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