what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
