he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
