i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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