i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
