eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
