Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
