I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found puke in my bra..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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