I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
