Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
