my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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