Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
