We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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