3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
