I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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