More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm passing your future prison.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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