But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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