I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There's always time for handjobs
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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