so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
