I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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