PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
