WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
