do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
