is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
