after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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