good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and she was petting her beer can
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
dude. I can hear the air.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
