should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
