I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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