She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
