I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
