Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What a dumb baby whore.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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