yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
