he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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