Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
