I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
wow bdsm is so cute
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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