It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
