We're like a lot better than the average bears
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
