you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
