you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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