she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
