i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
