I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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