In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
