it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish you could order shots online.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
