69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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