Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
